Wholehearted Wednesday - The BOYZ

WHOLEHEARTED - with unconditional and enthusiastic devotion, generous, sincere,marked by complete earnest commitment, free from all hesitation.

So how many mothers can actually say that they are allowed to hang out with her son's friends.  I am one of the lucky ones.  Today I would like to share the story about the BOYZ.  It all started when they were very young.  They have been friends since and now as young adults continue to be great friends.  Getting together for coffee, drinks, food, house parties, concerts, sports, helping each other with whatever their friends need.  They have attended several of my big parties and I seem to recall giving a lap dance to one of them (embarrassing moment for my son).  After my son moved in with me, he would sometimes ask me if I wanted to go with him to a bar on Tuesday night to play Name that Tune, it was a fun night to be with his friends and I felt very proud because I was the MOM hanging out with my son and he was not embarrassed by my presence.  There was a time when I went out with my girlfriend from Ottawa and we ended up in the same bar as my son and his friends. That is when the RULE was established.  I am not allowed to go to certain bars that they hang out, which was a fair request.

After my son's death, I was not really sure how each one of them were dealing with this loss.  Sometimes I would get a call from one of them to get together and sometimes I would be the one calling them to get together because I was missing my son so much.  They have heard me cry on the phone, they have seen me cry when we talk.  I think each of them helped me so much in their own way through my grieving process and I can never thank them enough.  I know what's it's like to lose a friend but not a young friend, so I was always wondering how they were coping.  At first I thought that I should be there for them but in reality they were there for me.  We would get together for dinner or drinks at a bar where they use to hang out where their friend is the bartender.  Sometimes we would talk just about anything and everything except about their friend, my son.  Other times they would share some happy stories that they thought I would like to hear.

I am one of the lucky mothers who did not have to worry about who my son's friends are, who he was hanging out with and who does he talk to when he can't to talk to me.  Although my son did not have a brother, he has the BOYZ who are like his own brother.  Now that I live away from them, I still think of them, wondering how they are doing and hoping that one day we will get a chance to share stories and find out how they are all doing.  I am looking forward to maybe seeing them at the end of June.  To the BOYZ, thank you for being you, thank you for your care and support during our loss and most of all, thank you for making Gino's time on earth very special.