I have never even heard or seen that word. What is the definition of sanable? According to the dictionary, capable of being healed. The question is can I actually be healed from the heaviness in my heart each time this day comes. For those of you who have followed my blog since 2011, I am sure you know what today is about. My son Gino would have celebrated his 37th birthday. Unfortunately he couldn't make it since he passed away at the age of 26. Sometimes I can't help but wonder if there is any truth or good explanation about numbers. I was 28 years of age when my son was born and my birthday falls on the 28th. The date my son passed away was my father's birthday and my father passed away on his father's birthday. There are so many other numbers that is difficult to explain or understand that coincides with his death. To this date I still find it hard to go through today without doing all the what if's or the if only... Several of the books I read about death of a child tells me that things will get easier with time. There's some truth to it, but the pain is still there and although life continues, in the back of my mind, I still ask WHY. Just last week my daughter sent me a photo of a recipe box that I use to have. Apparently my son used some of the recipe and even perfected how to make Yorkshire pudding. It makes me really sad that I didn't even know about this. But today I am going to remember all the good memories I have of my son because that's all I can do. If only...
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When I found my son's MP3 player I listened to some of the songs he had and this one is the perfect song for today. We miss you so much and today we remember your special day. |
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