What is it that I cannot do? Why can't I not do it? Is there a much better time to do it? I'm talking about opening a box. A box that I took with me because I was not able to deal with it before I move to San Jose. A box filled with my son's things, papers, sympathy cards, etc.
I am in the process of making a stepping stone for the tree that we planted in the backyard. There is a piece of paper that I needed from that box that will be part of the stepping stone.
When I opened the box to look for this paper, something hurt inside, there's still that pain.
I took that piece of paper, close the box and walked out of the room. It has been five years since my son passed away and each time I try to open the box to sort it, I always end up crying and it was still too painful. When my sister was here last May, we said we were going to do it but never did. My daughter suggested that I ask one of my girl friend who lives in this area because they would be someone not related to me. One of my BFF says that there is really never going to be a good time but if I am not ready, then it's not a big deal. There is not a Sunday when I don't think of him, I guess that's why I writing about him today. Some days I do some baking to get my mind busy and today its a recipe that I found online. There's a crumble on top and it makes it so special.
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| Best Blueberry muffins 2die4 |
And here's a song by Train that I like listening to when I am on the road going somewhere on Sunday.
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