Why Wednesday - Do you have an answer to my WHY's?

It has been 1,245 days since my son passed away.  You are probably wondering why am I going back instead of moving forward. Lately I am having a little trouble sleeping.  Some nights I am even afraid to go to sleep because my mind starts wondering and it goes around in circle and it always about my son.  

Why are the thoughts of him all coming back?

Why am I still asking why did he wanted to go so soon?

Why can't I find a reason that I can accept?

Maybe this is just a phase because of the Christmas holidays fast approaching.  Maybe some of you who have experienced such a loss, find some simple answers to my WHY's.  Maybe it is normal to feel this way after 1,245 days.  I know this is not a very happy post, but I thought if I write it out, it might help me sort these WHY's in my mind.

Timely Tuesday - Jelly Belly Collections

Sometimes when you are looking too hard for something that someone likes and you really want to get it for her but you can't find it.  Then one day when you are just out and about and you stop by your favorite store called ROSS, ta ta da da.  There they are, in little individual bags and in different flavors.  I am sure when that special someone sees these, she will send me a comment.

A box of five assorted flavors

Fruit Bowl, Sours, Hello Kitty, Cocktail Classics, Sugar Free Assorted Flavor, Sour Neon Inchworm

My apologies for the out of focus photos but at least you know what flavors I found.  I am sure that there's other flavors out there but for now I am hoping this will do.  Do you have a favorite Jelly Belly flavor.  I was actually surprised that they have them in sugar free, so I will have to keep this package for myself.  As for the sour neon inchworm, I love them because at first it's sour and then sweet. My mouth is watering while I am describing this package.

Maybe Monday - A small city called Hollister

It was a sunny Saturday morning and shortly after breakfast we decided to play an hour and a half of tennis.  On our way home, we thought that it would be such a waste to just stay in so we agreed to go for a drive, but not a long one, just to a small town somewhere.  I went on line to find a small town that I have not been.  At the same time I found a restaurant that had a 5 star review.  And since Thanksgiving just finished, this particular town was having their Santa Claus parade in the evening.  This city is called HOLLISTER.  I don't think it has anything to do with the store for young adult because the store is affiliated with Abercrombie and Fitch.  I remember Gino asking me to get him a couple of shirts each time I visited Jeff, so I would ask Jeff to take me to Hollister and he would ask me "the town or the store".  I took a few photos to share. 

An old church at the corner.

The old city hall

The new city hall

Granada - their theatre

There was a lot with these decorated christmas tree

Two meat combo (pork ribs and tri tip) from the Maverick BBQ located in the old train station

Fire roasted asparagus to accompany the above meal - so yummy.

After our very late lunch and early dinner, we walked around their downtown area.  The locals were starting to gather to await for the Santa Claus parade.  The streets were packed with chairs, people and some entertainment.  We checked out some of the local store and I ended up buying my first red jeans.  It was getting dark and we opted not to wait for the parade and leave town.  The traffic on the way home was clear until we hit Gilroy.  We thought it was a good idea to stop at the outlet to let the traffic clear.  It was a bit chaotic but when we found a good parking spot, we decided to check out the day after Black Friday sale.

We found some great deals and so our days journey ended on a very productive day.

Soulful Sunday - All about family

With all the Thanksgiving preparation, dinner and cleaning, I have not had the chance to do my Saturday post and now late for today's post.  Again I forgot to take photos of the meals we prepared for thanksgiving but my niece remembered to take photos of Greenlee's first Thanksgiving with us.  Although her family did not have dinner with us, they were able to join us for dessert. 

Marilen (my niece) and Greelee, it took me at least 4 tries to get the right smiles.

Three generations of Demaree - Jeffrey Thomas, Daniel Thomas and Gamble Thomas.

Greenlee and Gamble

My cousins - Jo and Becky

Annette (MIL) and Katrina (DIL)

While we were preparing the Thanksgiving Dinner, we did a Face Time with my daughter and her hubby.  After seeing all the good food, I might have convinced them that they should try and make it next year for the US Thanksgiving.  I can just imagine having a really awesome thanksgiving dinner with the our children and their children, my MIL and of course my favorite niece of all.

Frenzy Friday - Black Friday

What do you do after eating the thanksgiving meal with your family?  Well at the Cranberry Portage B&B we usually play a game or watch a movie.  After our families left, my niece helped Jeff and I with the cleaning and then we decided to start shredding finely some turkey.  My niece was telling me about this recipe that her friend does with the turkey.  When it was all done, we watch the movie BAD TEACHER.  We were all disappointed as we thought it would be funnier and it wasn't all that.  There were a lot of cursin' and swearin' and weird scenes.  It was almost 0100 in the morning.  We talked about going out to the beginning of the black friday sale with our pajamas but in the end we did not go out as planned.  This morning we woke up and started pan frying our shredded turkey meat marinated in garlic.  This is the result. 

Star Spangled (turkey with garlic dip fried)

A new tradition - Black Friday Breakfast (BFB) with steamed rice and fried egg.

Earlier this morning my niece read the morning news regarding the black friday sales, etc.  A couple of incidents that will make you think twice before trying to go out on this frenzy day.
One lady was pepper spraying the other shoppers show they don't touch the items she wants.  Another one where a family was coming out of a store with all their items and two men tried to rob them.  It ended with the father being shot by the robber because the family tried to fight them but the good part is that they were able to apprehend and hold one of the robbers until the police arrives.  This type of activities would be a deciding factor when it comes to Black Friday shopping.

Truthful Thursday - Thanksgiving List

No, it's not like a shopping list, it is my list of what I am thankful for.  It's no particular order but what comes from the heart.

For being able to retire early to enjoy life

For being married to a very easy going Jeff

For having a great son in law who takes really good care of my daughter

For having a wonderful daughter 

For having a sister who is ready to listen

For all my amazing friends in Canada and everywhere

For my relatives both in-laws and out-laws

For residing in sunny California - NO SNOW

And for all the other things that I forgot.

Happy Thanksgiving to all.

Please remember all our loved ones who are not with us anymore.